(Seabox) Dresses, Coffee and The Birds n' The Bees

[Wang Yao]

Nihao Everybody ~ To start out, this thread is rated NC-17, due to some of the adult content involved. Please be responsible and know your boundries. Xie xie ~

Well, as promised, I saved everything from the epic/character developing/ridiculous chat on Seabox, (recorded on February 6, 2011). I couldn't copy and paste the actual seabox member names, so you'll have to forgive my laziness of merely typing out which country was speaking, rather than "HerrAristokrat" this, and "MicroAndorra" that. (it was just too-too overwhelming, aru) Also, I had to shrink down the text for the actual chat and will (most likely) have several different posts to fit it all, seeing as it took up fourteen pages in Microsoft Word alone, so yeah, there's that. ;;

That being said, I hope you'll all enjoy re-reading this as much as I did. <3

Hong Kong: I'm sorry Arthur, but never in my life have I tasted something that is only edible when made into syrup due to massive amounts of sugar....and imagination.
England: ... HONG KONG 8DDD *ignores what he says in favor of giving him a hug* I haven't seen you around in forever~
Hong Kong: *twitches* Yes, nice to see you too. I'm still eating dinner with Yao.
China: Shengli! *fist pump*
England: D:! b-but
Hong Kong: *blank faced fist pump*
China: Take that Yinggelan. >8D
England: Oh, go smoke something china *goes to gloom in the corner*
Hong Kong: (Argh, I need to finish my app!! XD)
China: (Go, Xiao didi, go!)
England: (lol. well if you need anything lemme know~)
China: *reads England's smoking comment* H-HEY!
England: (XD *was waiting for you to realize*)
China: I should smack you, aru.
Hong Kong: Maybe I'll have dinner with Taiwan...
Liechtenstein: (pfft -was waiting too-)
China: Meiyou, Xiao didi! Please, I make you something too-too delicious! (Xiao didi = “Little Brother” in Chinese)
Hong Kong: Delicious? Will it come in a cute package too~?
China: 8D A panda package, yes?
England: You already stole Hong Kong from me, so in a way.... you already have *goes back to glooming*
Liechtenstein: (Are you going to need a hug England?)
China: I no steal!
England: (XDD; I dunno. I'm thinking I need to go watch either some harry potter or james bond so I can practice my accent)
Liechtenstein: (XDD!)
China: (Practice your accent for ... ? )
Hong Kong: Panda? That is a good bribe, dagua*. (dagua = “big brother” in Chinese.)
England: (for the FST. I get to read the legend *preens* but I wanna practice my british accent for iggy XD;;)
Liechtenstein: (-is being a wench :'D-)
Hong Kong: (Harry Potter is better for accent. I totally got stuck with one for a week after a Harry Potter marathon. XD)
China: *nodnod* You come to my house, and I make you something special, Xiao didi. You see.
Hong Kong: *blank faced fist pump*
China: (How are you being a wench, Lily?)
Liechtenstein: (-points- In the legend someone -a bar wench- asks to hear the tale. -reading those lines-)
China: (Ahh. *blink blink* When is this reading happening?)
Liechtenstein: (It's gonna be on the fst XD;; )
China: (BAH. I feel so dumb. *isn't paying attention, obviously*)
Liechtenstein: (lol it's okay!)
England: (XDD *petpet*)
China: (Iggy, you could watch Calender Girls or ... Monty Python or something for your accent practice.)
England: (ooooh monty python 8DD *could watch the Holy Grail~*)
China: (They’ve got great accents~)
Mamma Egypt: s-so... combo breaking accents and such.... anyone wanna plan something with your new resident mama >w>;;;;
China: *glances at Rome/Iggy*
England: OF COURSE I DO.
Mamma Egypt: <3
Mamma Egypt: Rome, let us fight and be bamf or something together :U
England: yesssss >D
China: You've got to pick me up, Mister. *stern glare*
England: Yessir.
Mamma Egypt: getting bossed around by menwoman rome~?
Mamma Egypt: ilychina<3
China: Naww. I love you too. <3
England: Rome: *flushes* n-not at all!Thoughheisreallypretty
Andorra: (whore)
Mamma Egypt: *knowing stare*
China: I no girl, aru!
Hong Kong: Dagua is pretty … he’s kinda cute like a panda!
China: Dx Not you too, Xiao didi.
Hong Kong: The truth is very important. Didn't you tell me that when I was a kid?
China: *facepalm*
Hong Kong: *confused face*
China: I no mean ... you saying I look like woman, Xiao didi??
Hong Kong: AH! No I --! It's England's fault!
China: *turns and fumes at England*
England: *confused look*
Hong Kong: Also, I do have a cellphone pic of you in a dress …
China: D8<
Hong Kong: Maybe if you didn't cross-dress on the weekends, we wouldn't mistake you for a girl?
Mamma Egypt: I think you'd look beautiful in a dress~ I can plait your hair if you'd like?
China: I no cross-dress! It big mistake!
England: You used to wear a dress when I was around ...
Hong Kong: That was me! I mean, yes Yao. You did.
China: Those were imperial robes, aru. NOT a dress.
Hong Kong: Uhhhh >_> …. Same thing?
England: *pets hks head* I made you wear suits, child.
England: And agreed. Same thing.
Hong Kong: Those were suits?!?!?!?!? I suppose dresses don't have pants though, do they?
England: Darling, you used to throw the pants I put on you off. *fond memories* You were such a rebellious little chap.
Hong Kong: ! *lights firecracker* *BANG CRACKLE POP*
England: *DUCKS!*
Liechtenstein: -jumps a foot-
China: *tries to drown self in Bird Nest's Soup, lamenting being referred to as a girl several times*
Andorra: -walks in- Hi~ What going- AHHHH! -firecracker- -ducks-
Hong Kong: That was supposed to be my dinner dagua! D8
Andorra: @w@
Hong Kong: Hey wait, we could place your dead body in a dress for the funeral.
Liechtenstein: ... Why do you want to put China in a dress D:? -clearly missed something-
Mamma Egypt: Because he's pretty enough to be a woman?
China: (Only Mamma Egypt loves me. T^T *clings to her*)
Mamma Egypt: (*hushes and pets*)
Andorra: -stumbles up to Lily- -whispers- What's going on? D:
Liechtenstein: -whispers- I don't know...
Mamma Egypt: -starts plaiting China's hair-
Hong Kong: *goes to look for a dress*
Austria: *walks in* ...
China: I told you, I'm not a girl, aru.
Liechtenstein: Should we help China? -looks at dorra-
England: Don't bother. He only pretends to not like it.
China: D8<
Hong Kong: *grabs a pink monstrosity and calmly holds it out to England* You can do it.
Andorra: Hmmmn I don't know~ -dazed- He would look pretty in a dress..... <---good imagination
Liechtenstein: Bu-But ;;
England: *stares at the dress in his hands*
China: D’8
England: .... pink isn't really his color, dear.
Austria: England, why are you putting a male in a dress?
Hong Kong: Red then? I still have one of those left over...
England: Red would be fine.
Mamma Egypt: Don't worry, dear. The plaits will keep your hair out of your eyes better. And pick a prettier style too if you will, Hong Kong.
China: *wails*
England: And... I really have no idea Austria =u=;; *rather confused by this*
Liechtenstein: (Y'know what all this talk of cross dressing is making me think of Iggy? XD?)
Hong Kong: *grabs it and gives the pink to Austria*
England: (DRUNK PARTY THREAD 8DD)
Hong Kong: (lol)
Liechtenstein: (YES. That and the nickname Port will never live down -should make that seabox account one day-)
Mamma Egypt: (reminds me of France actually~ those pretty dresses of his)
Austria: *looks at dress* Lily, a gift. *hands off dress*

[Wang Yao]

England: (*remembers France in a dress =x=;;)
Liechtenstein: (One of the many threads that is coming sometime in the relatively distant future)
Liechtenstein: Ah... Th-Thank you? -accepts-
Andorra: Ah! You would look wonderful in it Lily~
Hong Kong: Somehow, I don't think I'll be getting fed today. T^T
Liechtenstein: -blushes- I-I doubt it. It would look better on you Andorra...
Andorra: Aww thank you! But pink is your color! =) It would suit you better~ /girly tiemz
Liechtenstein: -blushes more-
England: I could cook something for you...? *hesitant to offer*
Hong Kong: *would feel bad if he said no* Ah, o-okay...
Andorra: (RIP Hong Kong)
England: *bright grin*
Hong Kong: *wonders if his insurance will cover this*
China: *brotherly instincts arise* Noooo! You mustn't, aru!
Austria: *raises eyebrows* I cooked earlier, England.
Liechtenstein: (We knew ye well HK)
Austria: I could give him some leftovers, so you don't have to go to the trouble...
Hong Kong: I would be fine with leftovers!! REALLY!
England: *pouts* I.... I suppose... if... if you're okay with that.
Andorra: (crisis averted)
Hong Kong: It's fine, I wouldn't want to bother you England!
Hong Kong: (XD)
England: *glooms*
Austria: Well, that sounds like it's settled. *goes off to make a plate*
Hong Kong: *follows*
China: Why you so polite all of sudden, Xiao didi?
Hong Kong: *gives China the Stink Eye*
China: B| I going home, aru. *stalks off*
Hong Kong: Don't forget your dress, dagua!
Austria: *gives plate to Hong Kong* Here you go. *whisper* And never let Switzerland tell you I'm coldhearted.
Hong Kong: Thank you. <3
China: *shouting* I no want dress! You no respect for me!
Hong Kong: T^T It isn' as cute as dagua's would have been. *eats anyways*
Austria: Please explain why it is so vital to have China in a dress?
Hong Kong: Because that is a sight that would stop wars. Or at least America.
Hong Kong: *mourns lack of cuteness in food*
Austria: Food is meant to be elegant, not cute... The sauces and the meat are in perfect proportion...*confused*
Hong Kong: It can be elegant and cute! *rearranges to make it look like a kitty* See! Same proportion, better delivery!
Austria: ...Certainly. *polite but thoroughly confused*
Switzerland: *hurt that he wasn't invited to dinner*
Austria: Oh, Switzerland. I didn't see you there.
Hong Kong: Kitty, Switzerland? *offers rearranged plate*
Switzerland: Of course you didn't, Austria. You never do. *crinkles nose slightly at Hong Kong's offer*
Andorra: Oh! -tugs Lily's arm- Look, your brother is here~
Austria: It's difficult to notice when you are skulking around.
Liechtenstein: Ah! Vash, Hallo -smiles still holding dress- ^^
Switzerland: I wasn't skulking! Just surprised that you had dinner without me, that's all.
Austria: This is not dinner. There are no linens or silver. I was merely -- *drops voice* -- making up a plate to save Hong Kong from England.
Hong Kong: [to Lily] Do you like it? It the newest fashion according to the women of my country...of Yao's country...Arthur's? *confused*
Austria: (identity crisis Hong Kong GO!)
Switzerland: *blinks, before looking down at the bundle in Lily's arms* New dress, Lily?
Liechtenstein: Mmhmm, Austria gave it to me -smiles-
Hong Kong: *stares down at plate in mild distress*
Switzerland: *balks* Austria!? Wh-why would you want anything from him??
Andorra: 0_0;
Hong Kong: Because it was my gift to Austria and he thought she would be prettier in it. I think he's probably right. England says I'm not very good with fashion.
Liechtenstein: -blinks- And it would have been rude to refuse... You always told me to be polite.
England: *snorts*
Andorra: -nods- She would be super pretty in it~ don't you agree? C8
Hong Kong: (Oh the woes of an older brother. XD)
Austria: As a whole I have noticed men seem to prefer trousers, while skirts look best on the ladies.
Hong Kong: Except Yao. =)
Switzerland: You don't have to be polite when it concerns ... *eyes snake over to Austria* HIM.
Liechtenstein: But he's always been kind to me...
Switzerland: He's just doing it for show, Lily.
Andorra: =(
England: *facepalm* oh Switzerland.... *sighs*
Liechtenstein: That doesn't seem right. -tilts head- Don't you think I'll look nice in it?
Austria: *proceeds to clean nails* By all means Switzerland, continue. I am not standing here.
Hong Kong: Do you like fashion Andorra? *is still mildly distressed*
Andorra: -nods- I do!~
Hong Kong: What color would you say dagua would look best in? *whispers*
Andorra: Mmmm~ I would have to say red! But he looks wonderful in green too...
Hong Kong: Thats what I thought, but isn't pink a light red?
Switzerland: I think you look nice already, Lily, but ... if a new dress is going to make you happy ... evenifitisfromapompousairhead ...
Austria: Evidently from some magic the Swiss possess I cannot hear him...
Andorra: It's red mixed with white.
Hong Kong: Oh! So like bloody milk!
Andorra: =| …
England: ..... Hong Kong....
Andorra: I...I suppose … -is a bit disturbed-
Hong Kong: Yes England? *blank face*
Liechtenstein: -smiles- Should I try it on?
Liechtenstein: (HK XDDDD -should not have laughed at that-)
Andorra: (pfff HK ilu)
England: *puts hands on his shoulders and steers him away from andorra, giving her a new handkerchief if she ends up in tears* I think we need to have a talk about what you should and should not say to women....
Austria: If your brother isn't going to object.
Hong Kong: Wha-?
Andorra: -accepts handkerchief- Ah...thank you..? <- a tad confused
Hong Kong: But it would only be a little blood, or the milk would be light red.
Liechtenstein: -looks over at disturbed andorra- Um... Ah! Will you help me andorra? I probably won't be able to zip it in the back! -distraction ftw?-
England: Yes, but quite a few women are highly bothered by the mention of blood.
Austria: *mumbles* Not Hungary...
Hong Kong: Oh~? *still doesn't understand*
Andorra: -brightens- Of course! -goes to help-
Liechtenstein: -goes to put new dress on-
England: Yes. I'm sure if you got yourself a girlfriend you'd understand a bit better. But - still *is NOT going to explain girls to hk, considering he has no personal interest in women*
Hong Kong: But what if I get Hungary as a girlfriend? I heard Austria say she isn't scared of blood...
Austria: *chokes*
Switzerland: *snigger*
England: *coughs* that's because Hungary is more like a boy than he is.
Austria: *glare*
England: Boys can be cute too! Dagua is super cute, you said so yourself!
Andorra: -zips Lily's dress- there you go~ =)
Switzerland: *busts up over England's “Hungary/Austria” comment*
Liechtenstein: Thank you!
Hong Kong: And he's not afraid of blood!
England: Exactly. Some men are like girls. While some girls are like men. It's just a matter of figuring out which is which. But to be on the safe side, be careful with the mentions of blood to girls.
England: ... and I never said china was cute D: I said he'd look better in a color other than pink.
Switzerland: (This is true. Twas England's inner Roman that said this ~)
Hong Kong: How do I know they're girls if they're like men??
England: By... talking to them? Seeing the way they act?
Hong Kong: But.....if they act and sound like a boy....? *confused*
Austria: *systematically scrubbing dishes with venom*
Switzerland: *chortles in Austria's ear*
Andorra: [to Lily] -friendly push- Now go show it off! <3 Your brother will love it~
England: *sighs and pets Hong Kong on the head* clearly you need to get out more, my boy. You'd understand if you went and met people.
Hong Kong: Ah! What if I ask them? Is that allowed? But wait, I got slapped last time I asked....
England: Yes. Don't ask.*sighs*
Austria: *accidentally drops a pot full of hot soapy water down Swiss's front*
Switzerland: D8< Austria!
Liechtenstein: Alright, alright. -giggles- no need to push.
Andorra: -follows her, derping- 8D
Switzerland: (Lily's gonna walk into ANOTHER feud. xD)
Austria: Pardon me. Why don't you turn so I can get your other side?
Liechtenstein: (She always does XD)
Austria: (We can't be left alone for two minutes, apparently.)
Switzerland: (Apparently. xD)
Andorra: (ahahaha~ its cute)
Hong Kong: Hmmm, do you ever dress up in women's clothes England? I've lived with you for a while, but I'm never sure if those dresses are yours or not.
England: (you’re like an old married couple … D: exceptiggyandporthavebeenmarriedlongerthanyouandtheydontfightallthetime … )
Liechtenstein: (onlywhenenglandsanassandwantsrailroads /port)
England: *blinks* France gives them to me as "birthday presents". So technically they are mine, but I've never worn any. I keep them and give them to Ireland when she visits. She seems to be indifferent towards them.
Liechtenstein: -comes out to the new feud. sighs glancing at andorra- Can't leave them alone for a minute...
Andorra: 0_0;; Oh dear
Switzerland: (Our relationship is difficult, to say the least. xD)
Hong Kong: You look much better than dagua in pink Lily!
Austria: *looks at Lily* Your brother startled me. The dress looks lovely.
Liechtenstein: -giggles shaking her head- Thank you very much.
Andorra: Hmm. -stares at the feuding nations, then looks at Lily- To me, they seem like very good friends, actually~
Switzerland: "Startled you"? Whatever makes you look good, aye, Austria? *fumes*
Austria: *blinks* Excuse me? Who snuck up and laughed in my ear while I was washing?
Liechtenstein: Good friends? Mmm... I can see that ^^
Andorra: -nods- Only the best of friends argue like that~ -giggles-
Switzerland: I didn't sneak! I laughed at you all the way to the kitchen! *turns to the two girls* And we are NOT friends.
Liechtenstein: Do you like my new dress Vash? -smiles-
Hong Kong: [to England] You don't look very good in red. It makes your eyebrows seem HUGE-er.
Portugal: I think he looks cute all red. -lives to tease England secretly-
Switzerland: *blinks, dropping defensive guard* Oh, uh, you look lovely, Lily.
Liechtenstein: -smiles more-
Austria: *murmur* Well done, that was almost gentlemanly.
Andorra: -smiles at Lily- See? I told you~
Switzerland: *rounds on Austria* I don't need it from you!
England: *indignant scowl as hk is interrupted by port* I.. I don't... not r-really... *flustered*
Hong Kong: So wait, if you married Port, then does that make him my...uh....stepmum?
England: … Stepfather.
Hong Kong: So you're my stepmum England? I suppose you do have dresses...
Portugal: And when you’re- -blinks at HK. never thought about that. then snorts at the 'stepmom'-
England: ... for the sake of the argument and considering he proposed to me.... yes? B-but that doesn't mean I'm going to wear a dress!
Hong Kong: …
Austria: [to Switzerland] *smiles* I was only complimenting you.
Liechtenstein: [to Andorra] Mmhmm... Though it looks like their going to just keep fighting -shakes head amused-
Switzerland: That was a backhanded compliment, you prude!
Hong Kong: I'm not calling you mummy.
England: I don't want you to.
Hong Kong: *nods*
Portugal: You have dresses? -blinks-
Hong Kong: Very pretty ones from France.
England: *scratches cheek* Ah... yes? France keeps sending them to me. And I keep giving them to Ireland …
Hong Kong: He should model them for you, just not the red ones; those are for dagua.
England: Hong Kong! *scandalized look*
Portugal: -tilts head and imagines England in a dress-
Austria: *whispers to Switzerland* Backhanded compliments aside, have you any idea why so many male countries seem to wear dresses?
Switzerland: *folds arms haughtily* I never did.
Hong Kong: You put Italy in a dress Austria, you should know.
England: *ducks head and just avoids looking at anyone* stupidfranceandstupiddresses
Austria: I was unaware he wasn’t a girl until his voice broke. And most of that was Hungary, not me...
Portugal: -still imagines it.- ... Well it's not like I've seen you in weirder things...
England: *scandalized look at port*
Switzerland: *cough*codpiece*cough*
Portugal: The waiter outfit, amor.
England: That was also France’s fault. -thatandIwasdrunk-
Hong Kong: The codpiece?
England: Both.
Portugal: Mmhmm, whatever you say.
Hong Kong: Both codpieces?! *confused*
England: The codpiece and the waiter outfit.... *goes red again*
Hong Kong: OH.
Portugal: So, see? Compared to that, the dress wouldn't be that horrible.
Austria: *pleased he has never worn anything besides men's clothing*
England: *odd look at port* Do.. do you want me to wear a dress?
Portugal: Wh-What? -blushes and ducks head- No! Why are we even discussing dresses?
England: I don't know!
Switzerland: You know Austria, I suddenly have a profound respect for you. *has worn only male clothing as well*
Andorra: -giggles-
Switzerland: (HK just has an obsession with seeing China in a dress ... I think it stems from the Christmas 2010 APH comic ... Hong Kong and China awaken in an unfamiliar room dressed in woman's clothing and are subsequently kidnapped. HK's first impulse is to take pictures of China on his cell-phone ... and that's how I single-handedly linked all of this dress madness together.)
Austria: (I recall, I read it. It was confusing)
Austria: Also, you're lying.
Switzerland: ... I’m not lying.
Austria: Yes, you are.
Switzerland: >.>
Austria: And I have a picture if it will go through.
Switzerland: *prays that it doesn’t*
Austria:
Switzerland: THAT’S ALL IN JAPAN’S HEAD!
Austria: Or is it?
Switzerland: I would never, ever wear that! EVER.
Austria: *raises eyebrow* I'm sure.
Switzerland: *jumps on and wrestles to the ground*
Portugal: Let's just... Come up with a different topic?
Austria: Ack! *wrestles*
Andorra: Oh dear!
Austria: (Where is France when you need him to say "When you two are done releasing sexual tensions we have business to take care of!")
Switzerland: (Bahaha. No where to be found, thank god.)
Hong Kong: (He's releasing sexual tensions. :P)
Austria: (…)
Portugal: So... Um, how are you?
England: I'm.... not the best?
Austria: *assorted loud fighting sounds*
Andorra: (uuuwoooh i guess Iggy is Dorras bro-in-law isn’t he??)
England: (no idea? XDD;)
Portugal: Why? Di-Did something happen besides the whole dress discussion? -worries-
England: (are you Spain and Ports bro?)
Andorra: (well you two are married! and yes)
Portugal: (She is like their little sister)
England: Err... well... I don't know if you heard about the START program of America’s? ..... he sold all the numbers of my nuclear weapons to russia as some kind of "peaceful relations" with him. *still highly unimpressed with him*
Switzerland: (I’m confused … who are we talking about?)
Portugal: ... That is just... idiotic, even for him … (Well I'm gonna headdesk over my nation now. brb.)
England: so I'm rather hung over...
Hong Kong: …
Austria: (I'm not sure either. Who is dorra?)
England: (America XD;;; it was on the news the other day)
Andorra: (Andorra! XD)
Austria: (Oh, hey yeah … )
England: (themicronationbetweenfranceandspain)
Austria: (username reading fail)
Portugal: Do you want me to get you tea?
England: Please? *pained smile*
Portugal: You rest here. I'll be right back -gets up-
Switzerland: You're full of fail, any way you look at it Austria.
England: *sighs* okay...
Austria: Excuse me? How do you arrive at that conclusion?
Hong Kong: *pats England's knee* You have better tea than America.
England: *blinks and smiles at hk* Thank you.
Switzerland: Hapsburgs come from Switzerland. Mozart comes from Germany. You're just full of fail, Austria. That's all I'm saying.
Portugal: -returns carrying a tray with tea and a sandwich- In case you were hungry.
Hong Kong: You should have cut it into a cute shape. Like a panda, those make everyone happy.
Portugal: Maybe next time you could help me with that Hong Kong?
Hong Kong: Yao is better at panda shapes. T^T
Andorra: Uwah! What a cute idea Hong Kong~ 8D
Austria: Mozart was born and raised in Saltzburg, thank you.
Switzerland: Pretty sure he was still German. *shrugs*
Portugal: It's no problem -smiles- And I'm sure your fine at panda shapes too
Hong Kong: I’m okay at them …
Austria: *rolls eyes* It is not even worth arguing with you.
England: *picks up a cup of tea and sips*
Austria: (are we still on the floor?)
Switzerland: *tired sigh* I'm tired of fighting, Austria. Let's try and be civil for a few moments.
Switzerland: (And yes. XD)
Austria: (Making sure. XD)
Austria: I'm prepared to try something new if you are.
Hong Kong: *sits on the floor beside England and turns head to watch Switzerland and Austria* Are we sure they aren't married?
Andorra: They’re good friends!! 8D
England: *pets Hong Kong on the head* I'm sure they're something.
Hong Kong: Yao said that was a euphemism for having sex.
Andorra: … -blushes-
Hong Kong: Only he spluttered a lot more.
Austria: *spluttering more than that*
Switzerland: *face pales horribly*
Hong Kong: Is that what they’re doing then?
Andorra: Abuh...I didn't mean it like that! -embarrassed-
Austria: NO.
Switzerland: ABSOLUTELY NOT.
Hong Kong: But you were rolling around on the ground, grunting!
England: .... *blushes and chuckles behind his teacup*
Portugal: -hides laugh behind a cough-
Switzerland: Those were ... we were fighting! THEY ARE COMPLETELY DIFFERENT NOISES! >o<
Hong Kong: You were going "ARGH ACK OH!" and that sounds about the same as England and Portugal when I can't sleep sometimes.
England: *chokes on his tea*
Andorra: -now crimson-
Switzerland: *stone faced* ... *looks over at England and Port*
Portugal: -turns bright red-
Austria: *sighs*
England: H-hong Kong!!!! *coughing*
Andorra: -hides face-
Hong Kong: What! I didn't mention blood at all!
Austria: You'll find in general, unless you are France, that sex is well...a private activity.
Hong Kong: … *blank face of confusion*
Austria: As Switzerland and I are fully clothed and in public, you can be certain that we were not doing the same thing as England and Portugal.
Switzerland: *vehement nodnod*
Hong Kong: I don't see them, so how can I be sure you don’t have sex fully clothed?
Portugal: -wants to find a hole to just crawl into and die atm-

[Wang Yao]

Switzerland: *facepalm* Austria! Don’t tell him this stuff! He's just a kid!
Hong Kong: And no one will explain anything to me either!
Andorra: -cant decide whether she wants to continue hiding face or cover her ears-
Switzerland: This is the sort of thing your ... ahem, PARENTS are supposed to tell you about. *raises an eyebrow at both Port and England*
Hong Kong: ...I'm still not calling him mummy.
England: *hides his face in his hands, bright red*
Portugal: Co-Could we... change the subject?
England: Yes. Please.
Andorra: P-please? -still hiding face-
Hong Kong: *grumbles* No explanations, again.
Mamma Egypt: Are you trying to tell children unsavory things?
Austria: We wouldn't be having these issues if certain parenting duties weren't being neglected.
Switzerland: I suddenly feel the need for a strong cup of coffee. Austria?
Hong Kong: Coffee will melt your stomach lining. You should drink delicious green tea. It is good and good for you.
England: *sputters* Hong Kong was too young for me to tell these things before he went back to living with China.
Hong Kong: And China says that something like that should be left to you. Because you raised me until very recently.
Switzerland: (xD He would.)
Austria: Coffee sounds delightful.
Hong Kong: And its your fault I heard it. *pouts*
England: *flushes* W-well... *awkward look as he didn't usually go into the whole 'birds and the bees' thing* I... I suppose...
Switzerland: *nods, before rushing off, red in the face*
Hong Kong: *expectant look*
Portugal: An-Andorra um... Why don't you go uh... -trying to make up an excuse for her to leave and not be scarred-
England: *opens mouth to start but notices the young girls* L-lets go talk in the other room...
Switzerland: She can help me in the kitchen! *grabs Andorra hurriedly*
Hong Kong: It’s not going to be about blood is it?
Andorra: O-ok!! -is grabbed-
England: ... of a sort ...
Portugal: -shoots Swiss a thankful look-
Switzerland: 8Db *is a big brother too, so he understands*
Hong Kong: But Portugal always sounds like he likes it.
Andorra: Th-thank you;;;; 0////0
Austria: I shall help with the coffee as well. *goes off and shuts door tightly behind them*
England: *goes really red and practically drags him off*
Hong Kong: Or do you have to beat each other up first like Switzerland and Austria? *is dragged off*
Portugal: ... -hides face in hands- Oh Deus...
Switzerland: R-right! To prepare coffee, first you must consider the quality of your beans!
Andorra: O-oh? -smiles-
Austria: *was listening at door, immediately stops red-faced at mention of him and Swiss* Yes, and beans are only grown in certain parts of the world.
Switzerland: *nods* These aren't highly prized, but they're a good price and they have a smooth after flavor.
Andorra: I-I see! That's very interesting!!
Austria: *raises eyebrow at cheap coffee but says nothing*
Switzerland: (Shuddup, you.)
Hong Kong: I dunno if I want to have sex if it involves hitting each other …
Austria: (<3)
Switzerland: ( <3)
Andorra: (oh good lord i want to save this whole thing)
Portugal: (Oh lord, yes.)
Austria: (Me too. Can we figure out how?)
Andorra: (this is epic beyond epic)
Hong Kong: ( lol, don't worry, I'm about ready to transition into something else. Just tell him it doesn't involve hitting. XD)
England: No.... it doesn't involve hitting.
England: … usually.
Austria: (brb loling forever)
Switzerland: (xD)
Hong Kong: Oh! So it's like when mister cat meets misses cat and they scratch, yowl, and bite eachother. Then there's cute kittens!
Andorra: (omigod i cant breathe)
Austria: *loudly* And FIRST we measure out the beans!
Andorra: 0///0
England: ... n-not.... I mean... sometimes but …
Hong Kong: AH! But you and Portugal don't have kittens!
England: *splutters* w-well of course not! We're both men!
Hong Kong: But Yao says you have sex to make babies and kittens are babies...
Switzerland: (Yao sneezes somewhere ... )
England: Only between a man and a woman!
Hong Kong: *pokes Aruthur's belly* You're not hiding kittens in there are you, since you said you'd be the girl?
Andorra: W-hat do you do next?? /trying to keep distracted
England: ohgod. Okay. That’s it. Hong Kong, be quiet and listen.
Switzerland: Uhm, you ... Austria stop ripping the bag! *looks down to see him fumbling with it*
Austria: I'm not! Switzerland, get the grinder.
Hong Kong: *looks attentive*
Austria: Be ready, its very loud.
Andorra: Oh good!
Hong Kong: (XD Oh god)
Austria: Very very loud (hopefully)
Switzerland: *grabs and hands off* HURRY!
Portugal: (Oh god XDDD)
England: *whispers everything there is to know about the birds, bees and the difference between straight and gay sex*
Portugal: (-just imaging Swiss and Austria doing all this-)
Austria: *grinds about two years worth of beans*
England: And DO NOT repeat any of that. *completely red in the face*
Hong Kong: I couldn't hear you over the sounds of Austria and Switzerland making coffee
Switzerland: (*dies laughing* XDD)
England: ....................
Austria: (XD!)
England: fuckme. *facepalm*
Portugal: (PFFT!)
Andorra: Ohhh! How nice!! /watching beans
Hong Kong: PORTUGAL!!!! England is propositioning a minor!!
Mamma Egypt: (fff poor Iggy- my inner France just wants to bug the hell out of you about now XD)
Portugal: -groans-
England: *is about to pass out from all the blood in his face*
England: (lol. its okay XD I wanna bug the hell out of me too XD)
Portugal: (XDD)
Mamma Egypt: 15 will get you 20, my dear gentleman~
Portugal: You want me to explain? -afraid England's going to faint from all the blood-
Hong Kong: (Oddly, that is the age I made Hong Kong...)
Mamma Egypt: (ff i am magic~*~*~*~*)
Hong Kong: ( Scary stalker magic.)
England: *nods desperately at port before practically collapsing in a chair, face in his hands*
Switzerland: *halts Austria to get a good listen at what's going on, on the other side of the door* Is it ... over?
Austria: *puts hands over Andorra's ears* I'm not sure, tell me.
Andorra: .~.
Hong Kong: So you'll explain to me?
Portugal: Yes. On one condition.
Hong Kong: Yes?
Portugal: You'll stop talking about it after I explain.
Hong Kong: ...Maybe I'll just borrow Kiku's bara manga.
Switzerland: *cranes neck to listen*
Portugal: Bar... You know what that is a very good idea! You should ask Kiku.
Hong Kong: Okay!
Switzerland: (Port, you have no idea what you've just unleashed on poor Japan.)
England: *whimpers*
Austria: (Tomorrow, The Talk, Part 2: Tentacles)
Portugal: (-salutes- I wish him luck)
Andorra: /wonderfully oblivious
Hong Kong: (Oh god. My friends call me a tentacle monster. XD)
Switzerland: (XD Austria, you kill me.)
Austria: Are they done? (<3)
Portugal: -places hand on England's shoulder- Are you alright?
Hong Kong: Can I get a kitten? *looks in interest at England's belly*
Switzerland: *nods* They're passing him off on Japan, I think.
England: *freezes for a moment before bursting into helpless tears* I can't take it anymore!
Hong Kong: !
Portugal: En-England!
Switzerland: o.0 And England's sobbing ...
Hong Kong: I'm sorry?! *confused and alarmed*
Andorra: -still cant hear xD-
Hong Kong: I'll get you some tea! *rushes into kitchen for some tea*
Switzerland: *jumps out of his way, rather alarmed*
Austia: *takes hands off of her ears* Okay...I think we can start brewing now-what?
Andorra: Ah, thank you for that! =)
Hong Kong: I need some hot water please!
Andorra: -stares at Hong Kong- …
Switzerland: *blinks* Hot water ... *grabs a kettle, before filling it up at the sink*
Portugal: -hugs England- Do-Don't cry...
Austria: Not at all. Oh good, you're taking care of that...
England: *blubbers into a handmade handkerchief* I'm a f-failure at teaching my own children TAT
Hong Kong: *grabs Switzerland's cheap green tea bags* Ick, but better than Earl Grey...
Switzerland: …
Portugal: You aren't a failure... It's a very awkward conversation...
Austria: It sounds like there is a bit of a crisis in there..
Andorra: -worried-
Hong Kong: *quickly makes up a cup and and carefully brings it to England* Tea!
Switzerland: *wipes hands on a towel* “One Washes His Dirty Laundry in the Family”. We shouldn’t get involved.
Andorra: ;;;
England: *accepts the tea with shaky hands*
Switzerland: Right! Coffee, we need to brew it.
Hong Kong: Don't cry. I'll call you mummy if you want? T_T
Andorra: /sighs Thank goodness Lily isn't here.... Yes! Coffee! /distraction
Switzerland: *fishes out percolator*
England: *tears up again* N-no! It's fine! C-call me England or father, but I'm not a woman! *takes a scalding sip of tea*
Switzerland: (Vash would DIE if Lily was present. xD)
England: (No. HK and England and Port would die if lily was present XD;)
Switzerland: (That too, Iggy. That too. xD)
Portugal: (-so grateful she swapped accounts-)
Austria: For once your neutrality is completely warranted. I agree. *busies self with measuring out water*
Andorra: Is there anything I can do?
Switzerland: I'm glad we're on the same page, Austria. *nods with an appreciative smile*
Portugal: -keeps arm wrapped around England-
Austria: Well, let's make it fancy. Why don't you get some whipped cream ready?
Andorra: Ok!
Hong Kong: Uh...England? I can't call you both father...
England: *sniffles loudly*
Portugal: You can just keep calling me Portugal.
Austria: *humming his own national anthem so he can't hear in the next room*
Switzerland: Oi. Why don't you hum another song, huh? B|
Andorra: ....I can sing for you two, if you want! <--happens to be a very good singer
Austria: *glares at Switzerland* That sounds like a good idea.
Switzerland: Good idea, Andorra. *slaps Austria across the face* Be quiet, you.
Andorra: Ok~ -sings a happy song-
Austria: *gapes at Switzerland in shock* What did I do to you?!
Switzerland: Er, sorry about that. Habit. *clears throat*
Austria: …
Switzerland: *suddenly watches percolator with intense interest*
Austria: *happens to drop the bag of coffee on his foot while going to put it away*
Andorra: -sings while making whipped cream-
Switzerland: D8< I said I was sorry, and those beans cost me money!
Austria: Perhaps you should think about that when you slap people across the face.
Switzerland: *tightens jaw* For the sake of being civil, I won't hit you again.
Austria: *glares* If you had cared for being civil you should not have hit me in the first place.
Switzerland: It was an accident; purely out of habit. I didn't WANT to hit you.
Andorra: -finishes song- Did you like it? -notices they're fighting again- ^^;;;;
Austria: *distracted* Yes. It was lovely. Andyoushouldworkonyoursocalledhabits.
Andorra: ^///^ Thank you~
Switzerland: Ah! *rubs back of head* Andorra you sang wonderfully. Danke! Shuddupyou
Andorra: ^_^ You two are too nice!
England: *finishes the tea with a sigh and a faint, watery smile* th-thanks. Both of you. I... feel somewhat better now.
Austria: *clears throat* The coffee appears to be ready.
Portugal: -worried, continues hugging him-
Switzerland: H-how does the whipped cream look? *peers over*
Hong Kong: Oh good. I was worried I'd have to ask dagua to make you some medicine.
Andorra: Ah! Good~ I'm almost done! =)
England: *snorts and can't help the chuckle* I don't need an aphrodisiac to feel better.

[Wang Yao]

Hong Kong: Aphrodisiac? What's that?
Mamma Egypt: Feel good medicine.
Switzerland: *shouting from the kitchen* ENGLAND! SHUT YOUR MOUTH, WILL YOU???
Portugal: -face palms- Arthur...
Andorra: 0_0!!
Hong Kong: Feel good?
England: *blinks at the kitchen* ...eh?
Mamma Egypt: *head pat* You'll learn in due time, little one.
Austria: *pours coffee* Are you read to spoon on the cream?
Hong Kong: DB< NO ONE EXPLAINS ANYTHING TO ME!!!!!
Andorra: -nods- Uh huh! =)
Switzerland: *clears throat, and maintains composure*
Austria: Can you go and slap him, instead?
Switzerland: *nods*
Mamma Egypt: Tell your brother to then, he's been around long enough dear.
Hong Kong: Tell him to make aphrodisiacs? For who?
Mamma Egypt: No, tell him to tell you what they are.
Switzerland: *rubs bridge of nose* On second thought, I don't any confrontation. Just a nice cup of coffee.
Austria: *sighs and walks outside* Speaking from experience with dealing with children, England, you would benefit a lot if you watch what words you use for the next few years, hm?
Hong Kong: (lol. Planning to pass hk around everyone until it gets explained? XD)
Switzerland: (Just have him find France, and all will be revealed. xD)
Hong Kong: (Oh god, he wants it explained, not traumatized!)
England: *clutches his teacup* I... r-right …
Andorra: -walks out of kitchen, and bounces to port- pooort~ I helped make coffee~ I made really good whipped cream! -proud of self-
England: (ENGLAND WILL NOT ALLOW FRANCE WITHIN 50 MILES OF HK :T)
Hong Kong: (XDDD)
Austria: Just as a thought. Also playing some music at night may help with masking certain noises. *goes to get coffee*
Switzerland: *glances at Austria as walks he back in, a small smirk on the corners of his lips*
England: *goes red again and ducks head with a groan* ......right....
Port: -can't help but smile a bit- At least it's over for now?
Austria: Hm? What is that face for?
Switzerland: Hmm? Oh nothing. *pours Austria a cup*
Hong Kong: I couldn't find Yao...
Switzerland: (Yao is hiding within the depths of the Forbidden City. He'll never come out if he knows what needs to be explained.)
Hong Kong: (XD Nobody warn him.)
Austria: Thank you. How about some of that whipped cream, Andorra? *holds out cup*
Austria: (btw we are better parents than England/Portugal. Just sayin' XD)
Andorra: Ok! -spoons a bit on-
Portugal: (Heyyy, we're fine parents D:)
Switzerland: (I think we make great parents, Austria. You can teach the children music and such, and I'll teach them self-defense and financing.)
Austria: ("Fine" is a word with many degrees of meaning.)
England: (pfff so you ARE a married couple?)
Hong Kong: (I KNEW IT.)
Switzerland: (B|)
Portugal: (They must have eloped!)
Austria: (NO)
Switzerland: (That's not what was said!)
England: (its so obvious!)
Andorra: (dorra would ship it :T just like she ships portxiggy )
Hong Kong: (LOL)
Switzerland: (*beats head against desk*)
Austria: (*sigh*)
Andorra: There you go~
Austria: *sips coffee* Quite nice. I think we did well.
Hong Kong: (HK opens mouth and unspeakable horror comes out)
Austria: (Iggy should sew it shut)
Portugal: (HK opens mouth and chaos and lolz occur)
Hong Kong: (DB Don't sew it shut! You need the lolz. XD)
Andorra: -claps her hands- Yaay~
England: (but then China would get on my case about child abuse! *doesn't want to go to court*)
Switzerland: (China would use any excuse to take Iggy to court. xD)
Switzerland: [to Austria] You don't mind the coffee, even though it's not up to your "calibur"? *raises eyebrow*
Austria: I did not say a word about your coffee. But the whipped cream is superb.
Switzerland: B|
Andorra: ^///^ Thank you! But I'm sure the coffee is good too!
Switzerland: I hate you so much, sometimes.
Austria: I doubt that.
Switzerland: I do. I really, really do. And thank you, Andorra. The coffee IS rather good, isn’t it?
Andorra: -nods- Uh huh!!
Austria: *smirks*
Switzerland: Whut? B|
Austria: Oh, nothing.
Switzerland: Is it safe to go back into the parlor?
Austria: I believe so.
Andorra: 83 -walks to port- Brother~~~ Would you like some coffee?
Portugal: Was that what you guys were doing?
Andorra: -nods- Yup! I made the whipped cream~
Portugal: I'll have to try it then -smiles-
Andorra: -grabs him a cup and hands it to him-
Portugal: -accepts taking a sip-
Andorra: -sits, waiting for his response-
Portugal: This has to be the best coffee and whip cream I've ever had -grins at her-
Andorra: ^///^ Wah~ Thank you~
Switzerland: *watches from the kitchen* Of course it is. (No matter it's low quality.) *nod nod* … *glances over his shoulder, taking in their workspace, which is a complete mess* ….. ;; *resists OCD need for cleanliness before breaking down, and scrubbing everything from top to bottom* (Nice going Austria. Leave me to do all the work, you pampered dog.) B|


<3 Love you guys ~ let’s have more nights of sheer ridiculousness, ja? identitycrisismode

I would personally like to thank the full box of Cheez-Its that sacrificed itself for my gluttonous consumption as I slowly edited, corrected and posted this tribute of fun. You were delicious. =D

[firecracker]

These were the dresses Hong Kong grabbed. 8O