María Estrella's Journal

[Arthur Kirkland]

• Querido Diario,

◦ Papá told us lots of cool stories today! It was about the Mayans and the Aztecs. They were stories of the old gods and what they did for the people. And what the people did for them! It was scary, because they would scarfice people and blood for them. Gods got mad if you didn't, and they'd do horrible things, so the people made sure to give them what they wanted. I wish I lived back in those days, it seems like fun! My favorite was Quetzalcoatl. He was a giant snake with feathers! Papá said he was the protector of man and he was kind to the people of the old world. I don't know why, but my brothers and sisters have a hard time saying his name. They can't spell it neither. They are so silly, it's easy for me! Papá says I'm real smart for knowing it, but I feel like I've said and written it so many times before. I shoud go to bed soon, because tomorrow is the big harvest!

▪ María Estrella, Age 7.

[Arthur Kirkland]

• Querido Diario,

◦ ¡Cinco de Mayo! It's the day of independence today! Also my birthday! My papá says I'm lucky to be born on such a day. He says that because I was born on the fifth, everyone is celebrating my birthday, all throughout México!
◦ I just call him loco and grin. But it is cool, because we go to the fair on my birthday and everyone sings songs and has a good time! It's exciting and I just feel like I'm bubbling all over! My birthday is the best. This year, my dad got me a dress and a story book of all the old legends. He knows me too well! At least for the book part. The dress I'll wear today, but I don't know when else I will.
◦ The book is more for me to just look at the pictures, because I already know all the stories by heart. He knows that. He got one with a lot of detailed pictures. They're awesome!
◦ Mama got me a hankercheif. I love her, but when am I going to use this? I guess I'll keep it handy if I need to blow my nose?
◦ And my brothers and sisters made me a traveling stick! its got beads hanging from the top and its all gnarled and cool looking! I'm going to use it when me and the guys to adventuring!
◦ Today was really cool. I wish it was my birthday every day. But then it might get borring. The best part about today was the churros. So good!
◦ Tomorrow is a new day, and I wonder what my dreams will hold tonight. Last night I dreamed I was in a huge fight, with lots of people around me. We were fighting for land, and there was this blonde man with blue eyes. He was so strange...
◦ And that guy with the tomato popped up again. I still want to beat the crap out of him! He was talking about gold and treasure, and I told him to screw off.
◦ Well, I should go to sleep. It's way late at night and I'm having to write by the stub of a candle I stole from my mom's desk. Good night!

▪ María Estrella, Age 11.

[Arthur Kirkland]

• Querido Diario,

◦ Yesterday was.... amazing! I didn't have time to write last night because I was so tired from all the dancing. It was my 15th birthday, it was my Quinceañera! My mom and dad had planned a long time for this, seeing as I'm the oldest girl and they wanted to make it special. My sisters say that when they have their Quinceañera, they want it to be just like mine!
◦ Mamá worked on the dress for months, and I think this was the first time I was ever excited to wear one. It was really poofy at the bottom, and she used the same colors as our flag. Red, then white, then green, going from the bottom up. It didn't have sleeves (which was good because it was hot) and the top part was white. My mom also put a shash around my waist that matched the dress. She's really good at making clothing, and I think for the first time I appreicated it.
◦ It was very traditonal, because my father likes to stick to the old ways. We started out with Mass with all my family. Abuelo and Abuela came down from where they live just to see me turn into a woman. I hardly get to see them, so I was so happy when they showed up.
◦ When we got back home, the whole place was decorated. Both my brothers and my father had bags under their eyes, and I knew it was them. They must have got up extra early or stayed up all night. That's why mom husseled me out of the house quickly to church. Since it is also Cinco de Mayo, we had lots of people paryting at our house this year instead of the festival like always. They brought food and gifts, and had a good time! It was like two parties in one, but it felt right.
◦ When me and papá did the father-daughter dance, mamá cried. She said she was so happy to see her daughter growing up. Papá said he was proud of the woman I had grown into. I got all the traditonal gifts. Earrings from my godmother, my mamá's best friend, to remind me listen and pay heed to the word of God and the world around us. A ring, one of mamá's old ones, to represent the never-ending circle of life. My abuela gave me her cross to represent my faith to God. Papá gave me his rosary from when he was little, to remind me of my devotion to God. Papá said he couldn't aford a tiara, but he made me a crown of flowers instead. I think thats better than some metal sitting on my head. I'm pressing the flowers in the story book I got when I was 11. Of course, I gave one gift, my old doll that I never really played with to my sister. She always wanted it anyways, and it was part of the Quinceañera tradition. To symbolize the last of my toys and moving foward to become a woman.
◦ Of course, my escort was my oldest brother, José. I don't have a boyfriend, and besides, José is the best dancer! We both danced all night, and of course did the special waltz we had been praticing for months. It went perfectly! And I danced with my mother for a while too. She's lighter on her feet than I thought! I got to watch mamá and Papá dance for the first time in a long time. I forgot how good they are!
◦ After all the dancing and food and excitment, when we finally saw the last guest leave, I swear we all plopped down at once! We were exausted! Mamá shooed all the boys to bed and asked me and my sisters to help clean up. I changed into something more comfortable and helped, and we got everything clean just in time to see a firework go off in the sky. Someone had bought fireworks and was letting them loose! It was pretty exciting, we sat there and watched for a bit. We saw something else in the sky, but I wasn't quite sure what it was. It looked huge. When mamá saw it, she told us to go inside and get ready for bed. I'm still pondering why she got so scared....
◦ Today, my feet hurt and I feel so tired. Mamá said I can relax a little, as the whole house is doing. But later, its back to the normal life. And I can't say I'm not happy with that!

▪ María Estrella, Age 15.

[Arthur Kirkland]

• Querido Diario,

◦ My first day on my own. I'm writing while on the train into town. Hopefully we shall get there soon.
◦ I left my home yesterday, after an agreement with my parents. You see, my father wanted me to get married (sooner rather than later), and I just don't think I'm ready for that yet. I feel to young, and something else calls for me. I don't want to be tied down.
◦ So I packed up everything I own and now, I'm heading into town. I plan to get a job and be independent. Most of my older brothers have done the same, and I know one has started going to collage.
◦ I may be just a farm girl, but I plan to do something with my life! Maybe I can become a story teller or a teacher. I know way too much about Mexican history to be rejected. It comes to me too easily. Maybe even a cook, my mother taught me well and most people like my cooking. The possibilities are endless in my eyes.
◦ If anything, I hope to get a decent job and a place to live. My parents gave me some money to help me start off, along with well wishes and my mother reminding me to give her grandchildren. Seriously, I really don't think I want kids yet.
◦ This is a new chapter, we'll see where it takes me.
◦ And no matter how hard I try to forget it, I can't erase the image of my fathers face when I left. There were tears in his eyes... I think it's the first time I've seen him cry.

▪ María Estrella, Age 19.

[Arthur Kirkland]

• Querido Diario,

◦ Sunday, July 14th
◦ ( I can't believe I never dated these before! )
◦ It's been a while since I got this job Los Molcajetes. They had just opened and needed a helper for the chef. I've actually learned a lot since being here, about cooking that is. They also had me helping as a waitress on some shifts and as a busser. It's not too bad. And the pay is pretty good.
◦ I live in a studio at the moment. One room for everything. It's not as bad as I thought it was. Although, it is pretty small. I usually eat for free at work, so I don't have to buy a lot of groceries, which is a relief. With the money I've saved up over these past months, I've bought a few things. Nothing big you understand, because I wouldn't have anywhere to put it!
◦ But I have bought quite a few books about the world. Maps, legends, and a history book or two. History really interests me. Sometimes, I can almost see people acting out these fights in my head. But instead of armies, it's just two people! The World Wars are really.... interesting, to say the least. One of the history books I have is all about them. Details of the fights, the countries behind then, and all sorts of facts. One of the facts I laugh at is the fact a bunch of Russians decided they didn't need parachutes and all jumped out of a plane onto snow. I know it's not nice to laugh at death, but it was a little silly.
◦ I've been having those dreams again, the dreams of Mexico and its history. It's like I'm viewing all of it unfolding in front of me, and there are these strange people who I see. One always has a tomato, another has blonde hair and glasses, and he has a twin... I think. Another has really big eyebrows, and for some reason, I don't want to see him cook. There are others too, and they always stay about the same age, it doesn't matter if I'm dreaming about the Aztec times or the Mexican revolution.
◦ Anyways, it doesn't really matter. It's just strange how I place myself in history. Maybe I should persue a career in teaching it.

▪ María Estrella, Age 19.



◦ Later, Sunday, July 14th
◦ I couldn't believe what I just saw. I was coming home from work when I hear this huge roar of a motor...
◦ I look up and theres this gleaming ship blocking the sun. It was landing in the port on the outskirts of town. We don't usually get airships because we're kind of a small town, so it was a big thing. A lot of people went to go crowd around the dock to see it, but I just climbed on top of my studio's roof. It was huge! I couldn't believe that thing flew through the air above my head!
◦ It was a dull bronze and I think it was a merchant ship. But once I saw the shadow and heard the roar, I first thought of the legend.... Quetzalcoatl.
◦ I've decided. I want to ride one some day. Maybe even more....